We have all been there. Open our hearts up to someone, give them all the care that we possibly can, and then it seems like they just take our hearts and crush them. No matter if they were a friend, lover, family member, or someone that just entered your life wearing the mask of kindness. Yes it hurts… Our past losses and pains help shape us as a person, assisting us develop these defense mechanisms which are almost like glasses that are specific to seeing that which we wish to avoid.
We begin to distance ourselves from letting people too close and start taking on the unhealthy aspect of defense, and that is the attack. Believing that it is just to hurt others since others have hurt you. The eye for an eye mentality taken to the next level. It is understandable to be untrustworthy of the one who has hurt you, but revenge does nothing for you but echo the pain for an ever longer period of time.
The best thing for you is to let go, move on, no matter hard it is. If you decide to continue the cycle of hurt, you never truly are free from the pain and moving on just becomes that much more difficult. When you use past experiences as excuses to hurt others, it only makes things worse. Viewing the world as “It’s been done to me, so why can’t I do it to others?” That perspective that the world is just full of people waiting to hurt you, so its better to be on the attack than to be on the receiving end of the pain.
Imagine how you felt when someone hurt you and you did nothing wrong to cause it, so why do that to another? Every new person you meet, or new relationship, does not deserve the sharp end from the last hurt. It can be hard to be trusting and seemingly impossible to let someone in, but if you live your whole life attacking those who have never harmed you, then you will be on a very lonely path. You can still be weary without being hurtful.