When we talk about self-improvement, do we consider the reasoning behind our goals. This is regarding a goal of being more fit, losing weight, learning a new skill, anything that requires effort. When we look at anything that you’re
trying to learn that requires more time than just one single attempt, these improvements i’m addressing are lifestyle changes. If you’re considering a lifestyle change, is it for you or is it for others?

 

  First let’s talk about fitting in. What does it really mean to fit in, does it mean to dress the same, does it mean to play the same sports, hang out with same groups of people, listen to the same music, what does fitting in really mean to you? This is going to be really important because this is going to be the driving force behind a lot of reasons why you do things outside your immediate peer circle. 

 

  A factor to also consider is the media, which has such a tremendous influence on the way we believe we are
supposed to behave, the way we believe the world is working and the reason why I say “believe” is because it’s all subjective. It is all whatever media outlet is pushing their agenda. Or influencer, every influencer has their own agenda perspectives and beliefs. Take that all into account because with all these individuals and groups bombarding you with what they believe you’re supposed to be or how you’re supposed to act or what you’re supposed to like.

 

 

  Since birth we’re programmed to try to connect to others. The first few years of our life is solely mimicking and being taken care of. The piece of this that stays with us for the rest of our lives is wanting connections and using mirroring to build rapport. The reason why I mention that, is there can be a negative side of doing anything, it’s all about the reason behind it. Like we talked about earlier, you could be working out and trying to be healthy but not for yourself or self-confidence, you could be doing that to try and get the attraction or approval of others.

 

 

  It is our nature to want to connect to others, it’s in our nature to want to have others see us in a positive manner. We have all of these influencers and all of these outside forces telling us who we’re supposed to be, what’s acceptable, what’s cool, and what’s not cool. If we like this then that must mean we hate that or against something must mean we love something else, which is absolutely unacceptable and convoluted.

 

 

  Doing what you love is not about following the trends truly take a step back from everything that is bombarding you and think about what you actually want and go for that because in this world that is what truly matters.

If you do things to follow the crowd and you may like it you may not but later on the easiest way to develop resentment for somebody is feeling like they forced you into something that you do not want to do. We have to be able to discern what is aligning with our true selves versus what we would like to do to just fit in.