I'm Looking And I Am A Failure
I really want to talk about the topic of comparison, everybody does it. Technically comparing is the way we discern between most things. Something is taller than this, somebody is shorter than that, that’s yellower than this, whatever. The real type of comparisons that I want to talk about are the ones that we make between ourselves and others. now the big type of comparison that we first see is financial and by financial also being material. People having something that we want, they have what we don’t have and we see them as better than us.
We become envious and not only do we become envious of their possessions we also can find out that, emotions like anger and jealousy and all that good stuff are associated.
When you compare to peers your own age who seem to be better off, it can be worse because then the depression and anxiety that come along with, not being where they’re at or them having more than you, when they started out at the same place. Point being is you never really know if they’re putting all their effort in their life into putting up that front that everything is great. They could really be broke, owe you know a lot to the bank, their relationships are stressed and they’re based off of superficial things. You’ll never really know unless you were in their shoes and grass isn’t always greener.
Let’s talk about people who think that others are happier. When you see somebody else and you believe oh their life’s so much better, they’re so much happier. They have a happy life, happy wife, happy kids. you know they go golfing every Friday. whatever you think that other people have and happiness that you’re missing out on, that’s probably not true.
What is your scale for determining who has more or who’s doing better, who is happier? Are you really lacking or are you just not appreciating? What i’ve realized is the difference between someone who feels like they have it all and someone who doesn’t, is all a matter of perception. If your perception is that nothing works out for you, no one’s there for you, you have no friends, you have no family, you have no money blah blah blah blah blah then you’re just going to see exactly that. all you will experience is negativity when you see everybody else living a way a better life that you want. When you look at everything objectively and you realize:
hey I have a couple of friends that are here for me,
i’ve got a couple family members that I can stay in communication with,
you know I may not like my job but guess what it pays my bills.
That’s an incredible starting point. Once you start becoming grateful for these things that seem so minuscule to you, you end up realizing that you have so much. if you feel like you don’t have so much or you don’t have people around you then you need to look at your behaviors as well. Personally i’m an introvert so some of the cues that i give off or signs when i’m in public kind of tells people not really to talk to me and it’s my fault but it’s not my fault
It’s not saying that you’re a hundred percent at fault or where you’re at in your life or how you feel about your life but you’re 100% responsible for changing it.
If you take anything away from any of this, it may not be 100% your fault for the way that you perceive the world but it is a hundred percent your responsibility to help change your perception so that you can see the world for the way it is and it’s a beautiful place full of caring people that will care about you and there are people who already do.