Every single one of our traits can be traced back to an event, series of events, family, or from insight taught by another. Many of these traits were triggered at a young age, which causes many of us as adults to wonder, “Why do I…?”
Look at our traits that may be seen as toxic, like the lack of trust for others, fear of groups, hatred of types of people, judgement, lashing out and so on. These traits may have been useful at one point in our lives as protection mechanisms. They were once ways to keep our emotions and body safe from the external environment. The problem is, they still exist, even when we are no longer in a time of crisis or we are at least not subject to the harmful experiences as frequently as before.
These traits now create more distance between us an others, and overriding them is quite difficult. Which brings up the curiosity and wonder why do I hold onto a trait that no longer serves me? One of the better answers to that question is, you never worked at turning the trait off. Once it has served its purpose, it takes conscious work to silence it. So will I close myself off from others to “protect myself”? Will I judge others when they too may have circumstances that lead to their specific behaviors?Or Will I become more conscious of my defenses and try to work through them?And will I try to be accepting and understanding of others when they are behaving in a defensive matter?Everyone has a reason for their behavior, and everyone deserves to have others attempt to be accepting and understanding.